The Pain of Loving Someone Who Both Heals You and Hurts You

Photo by Matheus Viana: https://www.pexels.com/photo/hands-in-front-of-white-and-black-background-3541916/

Why does no one talk about the absolute agony, the ache of having to walk away from someone you absolutely adore. Not because you stopped loving them. Not because you stopped trying. But because the love started costing you parts of yourself.

It’s confusing as hell when the same person who gives you butterflies also gives you anxiety. When the one who makes you feel the highest is also the reason you’ve cried yourself to sleep more nights than you can count.
You cling to the moments when it’s good. When they’re soft. Present. Loving. And you convince yourself: Maybe this is who they really are. But then it shifts. They go silent. Or cold. Or cruel. And suddenly you’re walking on eggshells, wondering what you did wrong.

That’s emotional whiplash. That’s what it feels like to be trauma-bonded. When your brain is addicted to the hope of the high, but your body is breaking from the cycle of the low.

This is the kind of heartbreak no one prepares you for: When you leave not because you want to…but because you have to. Because no matter how badly you want them in your life, they just keep leaving you in pieces.

So if you’re confused, you’re not alone. It was real. It was love. But love isn’t enough when they won’t meet you in it. You’re allowed to walk away from the person who once made you happiest when they’re also the person who won’t stop hurting you.