Holiday Emotional Hangover and a 5-Minute Practice to Plan a Softer December

The day after a holiday can feel strange.

The noise is gone, but your body is still loud.
You might replay every conversation.
You might feel empty and detached.
You might feel relief that it’s over, mixed with sadness, anger, or shame.

This is an emotional hangover.
When you carry trauma or CPTSD, your nervous system has been working overtime scanning for danger, managing triggers, and holding it all together. Once the event is over, all that energy has to go somewhere.

Instead of letting the emotional hangover turn into self-attack (“I should have…” “Why did I…”), I want to offer you a 5-minute practice to close this chapter and open the door to a softer December.

You don’t have to fix yourself.
You just have to tell the truth about what happened and what you need.

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5-Minute Emotional Hangover + Softer December Practice

You can do this in bed, on the couch, or at a kitchen table with a notebook or your Notes app. If you’d rather not write, you can think through it slowly.

Step 1: Name the hardest moment (1–2 minutes).
Take a breath and gently ask, “What was the hardest part of this holiday for my body?” It might be:

• A comment someone made
• A moment you felt frozen or small
• An interaction with an ex or co-parent
• Being alone when you didn’t want to be
• Being surrounded by people but feeling invisible

Write one or two sentences about that moment. Nothing fancy. Just: “When ___ happened, my body felt ___. I noticed ___.”

This is not about reliving it. It’s about letting the truth land somewhere safe.

Step 2: Name one way you protected yourself (1–2 minutes).
Next, ask: “Where did I abandon myself less than I would have in past years?”

• Did you take a break in the bathroom instead of pushing through?
• Did you leave earlier than before?
• Did you say no to a conversation or question?
• Did you reach out to a friend afterward?

Write a sentence or list: “I protected myself when I ___.”

Your nervous system needs you to see your own strength, not just your pain.

Step 3: Ask your body what it wants for December (2 minutes).
Close your eyes for a moment if that feels okay. Put a hand on your chest or belly. Ask yourself: “What would make December 10% softer for my nervous system?”

Let answers come without judgment. They might sound like:

• “Fewer events. More quiet nights.”
• “One walk a week without my phone.”
• “A small, gentle ritual for grief.”
• “Time to read something that helps me understand my trauma.”

Write down anything that shows up. Then choose one thing you can actually honor in the next week. Not a whole new life. Just one small softness you’re willing to protect.

Examples:

• Blocking off one evening this week as “no plans.”
• Saying no to one more event.
• Ordering or borrowing one book from the Holiday list that calls to you.
• Printing one of the journals and giving yourself 10 minutes with it.

You don’t have to make December magical.
You just have to make it kinder than it would have been without listening.

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Gentle Journal Prompts

If you want more to chew on over the weekend:

• “If my nervous system could design the rest of this year, what would it keep? What would it quietly delete?”
• “What did this holiday teach me about what I want more of and less of?”
• “What is one thing I am proud of myself for, even if no one else saw it?”

Let your answers be imperfect and honest. You don’t have to sanitize them for anyone.

This is a beautiful moment to bring in deeper supports, because your body is awake and paying attention.

• Beyond the Score: My book Beyond the Score is for exactly this in-between space when you’ve realized how much your body has been holding and you’re ready for a compassionate, science-infused roadmap to learn to live beyond the score your body has been keeping.
• Holiday Book List: The Holiday Nervous System Survival Book List is there if you want a steady companion through December. Maybe you curl up with Wintering to honor your need for rest, or Set Boundaries, Find Peace to prepare for the next round of family gatherings.
• Journals:
  • The 7-Day Trauma Release Kit is perfect if you want one tiny somatic practice a day to help move some of this emotional hangover through your system.
  • The 7-Day Self-Love Journal gives you gentle prompts to reframe your inner voice from “I was too much / not enough” to “I did the best I could with what I had.”

You don’t have to do all of it. Pick one thing; just one practice, one book, one journal page and let that be your act of care for today.

Your body has carried so much to get you here. It deserves a softer December.